Osinachi Nwachukwu: Speaking Against The Marriage Institution Isn’t The Solution, But…-Ayobami Adegboyega

By Oluwafemi Dosu

Gospel Film Maker and producer of Husband and Wife series, Ayobami Adegboyega has added his voice to the death of Late Osinachi Nwachukwu, saying it’s an ugly incident.

Adegboyega opined that speaking against the marriage institution as many are doing is not solution to abusive marriage.

“For a believer, Divorce is frown at intimate partner violence, abuse and harrassment. However, separation is a good option.

“In the currently playing season of our series on YouTube. ‘Resolute heart’, a lady, Belinda, was undergoing such treatment from her husband and Pastor Right intervened by separating the couple for a period of time. In one of our script conferences, questions about the legality and appropriateness of Pastor Right’s action were raised.
In my response, I said ‘Separation at such instances, is essential and advisable in order to first save a life, afterwards take necessary actions with the abusive spouse, in this case the husband. Because whatever anyone has to say is better said after you’ve saved the life,” he stated.

The film maker noted that “Comments would be flying here and there but the Lady is gone, children are now motherless, parents, if alive have lost a child, people are aggrieved. And to God, a life is so precious.
That is no way to insinuate that marriage is not precious to God. I am more interested in balance and a godly perspective.”

He stressed that speaking against the marriage institution isn’t the solution.

“Let’s consider this scenerio, a man in Africa visits the hospital based on an illness, the incompetencies in both man power and structure of the health sector causes complications. The solution is not to take such patient back home defying medical attention.

“That we have incompetent Doctors or inadequate facilities does not mean there are no competent ones that is why people travel abroad to enjoy these good facilities.

“Marriage is one of the greatest gifts God gave humanity. A failed marriage is what has produced the domestic menaces that we see today. Some have come to a conclusion that marriage is not worth it, but then the solution to this problem is still marriage. Marriage would be great if it’s done according to God’s instructions and order.

“No good man raised in a godly home would beat his wife.
So, if I see a man beating his wife, then there is a problem with his upbringing. It is the responsibility of every parent to raise their boys and girls not to assault or bully anyone. When that fails, violence and abuse is what we see.

“If people speak against marriage, the result we will get when the marriage institution collapses, would be worse than we see currently. So, it’s about us understanding God’s a concept of marriage.

“Let me say this, that, marriage conducted in church doesn’t mean it’s a Christian marriage.
A man ordained as a pastor doesn’t mean he is a Christian husband.
A woman filled with the “Holy Ghost and tongue speaking” doesn’t automatically make a Christian wife.

“We as men of God, called into the marriage ministry, need to focus more on the young people, starting from their choices.

“God is particular about his children based on his instructions and order. God hates divorce!
This might not apply to unbelievers, there are so many of them that have ‘Baby Mama and Daddy’ with children all over and everywhere. But for a child of God, God hates divorce. So we speak of this in the confine of God’s Children, the redeemed.

“Because if you’re truly saved, you will not even be bold enough to slap your wife. If you dare do it by error, you will lose peace, cry and won’t be able to sleep until you open up to people and seek help, confessing your wrongs.

“We have handled such cases and God had mercy on them. As much as we frankly speak against this animalistic acts in marriage, if it happens, the best thing is to run for your dear life as the victim.
Don’t sit there and say you’re enduring it. Speak up, Open up. Get help.

“However that does not negate the fact that there is a place for perseverance and endurance in marriage, because marriage is not about compatibility, it is more about complementing each other, we get better with each other.

“Because this may result in a lot of issues. Different opinions saying not only physical assault but emotional assault as well.

“But not that after a little misunderstanding or altercation in the morning, a spouse would decide he/she is out of marriage by noon.

“My point really is that everyone must know God for themselves and that is what we teach with our messages in Husband and wife series on YouTube. Because people are beginning to look for who to put the blame on, the pastor, members, neighbors etc.

“God’s concept for new testament Christianity is that you know God for yourself. So when you need counsel, then a pastor would be able to counsel you rightly. That you run for your life or be separated from such abusive spouse until he/she repents genuinely and faces disciplinary actions.

“So, let’s focus on balancing the two. We are not in support of Physical, emotional, psychological, mental or sexual assaults in marriage. Whoever abuses his/her spouse has not grown and is evil.
That’s what happened to Adam. His marriage failed because he didn’t grow. He was made into a fully grown man. That’s why God chose to introduce the second Adam, Jesus, allowing him go through the growth process. He was borned of a woman, fed and raised in a family. Then God gave him the most troublesome wife, the Church. Jesus succeeded because he grew.

“A lot of men are physically mature but are not spiritually grown. As a result of that, there are lots of boys in grown man’s physique. Those are the people that will beat their wives.

“This is not to turn against the institution of God and God’s way of choosing life partners for his children. It is a call for young people to pray more and open their eyes to know the red flags in a relationship talk more of marriage.

“We strongly stand and speak against domestic violence and abuse.
We also stand to uphold and to defend the greatest institution God has blessed humanity with, Marriage,” he concluded.

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