My name is Kemisola Baker. My Friend, Rolayo was at my house very early on Tuesday morning, it was a big surprise as we had not seen physically for 10years, just occasional social media catch up was our thing.
We did a bit of Gisting after which she decided to tell me why she was at my house…
” Kemisola, there is no day, I see the pictures you post about you and your husband that I don’t get jealous, how I wish I married a pastor like you, my husband is weird and demanding” She said…
“Weird as in?and demanding in which way? I asked confused
” Kemi, You should understand now?, as in getting down, He practically wants it everyday, and this is our 10th year in marriage, Is it food that one must eat everyday? “..
” Babe, congratulations ooo, You mean your husband still wants you like that everyday after 10years together without kids?No offence oooo… and you don’t see it as a reason to thank God… You see it as a problem… Rolayo You are the one who has the problem ooo, Most men after 10years in marriage would have gotten tired of their wives and yours still finds you attractive”
“Kemi, Your husband is a pastor , he can’t be this demanding, he would have kept his flesh under subjection” Rolayo said
My uncontrollable laughter filled the whole room as I managed o say…. “Babe, men are the same everywhere, when it comes to that area, be it the senior Reverend of the universe, even a king will become a leaf before his queen when it comes to that area… So don’t judge or compare my marriage with yours, and the smiles on most people’s faces on social media pictures are just for that moment… and besides, my husband May not be as demanding as your husband over sex, mine could be demanding IN other areas.
“Other areas like? ” She asked
“Like my time and money”
” Your time and money, How?”
“OK, as a pastor’s wife, I have to be in church almost everyday counselling women, attending to church matters after leaving work, even when I don’t feel like it… That is my time…. and regarding my money, how much are pastors paid, at times I support big time to pay the house bills, and children’s fee”
“Can you see that every marriage has it’s peculiar issues… So don’t compare your marriage with mine, all Men and likewise women could be demanding in different ways in marriage.”
“Every marriage has it’s peculiarity, adjust to accept the peculiarity, For you, your spouse might see sex as food, while for me, my spouse might see my time with him as food, so adjust babe…..”
Rolayo left my home relieved as I told her the blunt truth and we discussed at length on how she can embrace the peculiarity of her marriage…
Note: Never compare your marriage /Life with someone else’s. Every marriage/life is peculiar…
“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” 2 Cor 10:12b