“HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT MARRIAGE PARTNER” (Part 7 & 8) by Gloria Bamiloye

PART 7

THE PLACE OF PRAYER

If someone will marry right ,he or she must not joke with prayer .and if any marriage relationship will experience God’s kind of love ,there is.need for serious prayer too.
Prayer to me is like a way of relating with our father in heaven . If we find it easy to relate with our earthy father, It should not be difficult to also relate with our Father in heaven . Some people see prayer as a religion activities that must be observed ,and so they see God as one old man sitting in the sky that must be appease with some rituals before he give them audience .

But our God desires relationship. He wants to be so close to us and that is why Jesus came to give us easy access to God . The disciples saw this in Jesus ,they saw the cordial relationship that exist between Christ and.God , They saw how he related with God when he was on earth. and they covet the grace .

They saw how Jesus called God Father with ease . And they saw how God easily answered his prayers without stress . This was different from the way they were thought by their religious leaders .
They asked Jesus to teach them how to pray .and Jesus answered , Matthew 6:9 s 9After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name….
Jesus made it clear to them that God is our Father and that they must develop relationship with God before they can enjoy talking to him

That was what Christ came to give us ,he came to give us power to become the sons of God
John 1:12. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

You will become his child when you believe Jesus and you give your life to him .The spirit of God (which is the nature of God) will come upon you and you will be transformed . Your inner man will be quickened, you will be conscious of his presence and when he talks you will hear in your spirit because you are a spirit being and your spirit now carry the nature of God

Jesus wants you to know that God is your Father and you are free to talk to him because the greatest thing he desires from you is to love him and to develop a relationship with him.He is interested in every thing that concerns you ,and He also wants to guide you through life so you can fulfill your purpose because he knows. that you have one enemy (satan ) who hates you .

That. is what prayer means . It means relationship with your heavenly father because he wants you for himself alone. He is a. jealous God. Communication is a sign of healthy relationship and that is the best way to build a relationship with God . The road to his presence will be clear and smooth as you communicate with God regularly and you will become God’s friend . Proverbs 18:24. . A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly… As you humble yourself to know more about him in his word ,(taking time to study the scripture ,the Bible) you will get closer to him and you will be surprised at the way God answers the prayers of his children
Psalm 138:6 Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.

WHY SOME PRAYERS ARE NOT ANSWERED

HYPOCRISY  AND DECEIT

God hates deceit or hypocrisy . He wants you to come into his presence as you are . He wants you to trust him to help you even if you have missed it or messed up. When the prodigal son came back to his father ,he did not reject him . He welcome him back home with joy . That must always be your attitude . You. can confide in this your Father and he will be very much ready to cover you and remove your shame .

But many could not receive God’s backing because they are not open to Him .Psalm 18:25-26. With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright; [26] With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.

You must not forget that ,God is a spirit ,he sees your heart and he checks every thing that goes on in your heart . He will answers you according to the state of your heart before him Jeremiah 17:10. I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doing s.

when you respect and honour God with your life. He will be happy with you and also honor you in return . when you desire to walk in your way or when you make up your mind to do your will different from God’s will,he may not answer your prayer. Some people already settled in their heart the person they want as marriage partners before coming to God . God says he will answer such people according to the idol of their heart . Ezekiel 14:4. Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God ; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the Lord will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols;

When you are praying for a marriage partner ,your heart must be empty before God ,you must trust him completely to direct you because if you have concluded in your heart to marry someone without asking for God’s leading, God will answer you according to the idol of your hearth because you are not sincere in his presence . Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

LACK OF PATIENCE

Another reason some may not receive answer to their prayers concerning the right marriage partner may be because they are not patient . They wants it fast and you cannot hurry God. When it comes to the issue of marriage partner ,God will work on you first to make you a better partner . So when it seems he is quiet ,he is working on you to prepare and perfect your life .

Butt many jumped out of God’s way ,thinking God is too slow to answer and they landed in trouble Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint .

MATURITY

God delay some people’s prayer because ,they are not mature enough .Some may be matured in age but babies spiritualLy and God will want them matured because of his purpose for their lives .Maturity therefore may not be about age ,but how deep your relationship with God . With God in you ,you can face the world without fear . Marriage is a ministry that you need God by your side and inside of you to run because It is God’s institution not man made thing . Many intellectual people with the wisdom they have acquired failed in their marriages because they did not acknowledge God

WRONG MOTIVE

Some people’s motive for getting married is totally different from the purpose of God . Some just want to marry to satisfy their lustful desire and they latter become bored and jump out of the union .
James 4:3 KJVS[3] Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

God may delay such people in other to bring them into maturity because marriage is not only about you but about what God plans to do through your union.That is the reason you must know your father and develop a strong relationship with him so you can have a right marriage partner and a very fulfilling marriage.

TELL GOD YOUR PROBLEM

You must be opened to God, and tell him what you are passing through, don’t hide your feeling from him . he loves to help you. Its amazing how many people keep away things from God . Some people forgot that God is a spirit and he knows all things .They pretended as if everything is okay .God knows everything about you including what you don’t know about yourself. But he wants you to open up and ask for his help

MY EXPERIENCE

I once experienced a situation like that when I was single and was seeking the face of God concerning a brother I desired to marry (ever before I knew my husband ) I so much allowed him into my life and we became friends without asking to know if he was the will of God for my life or not . May be because he perfectly fit in to my expectation .

I was afraid to pray because I did not want God to say NO to my desire . I was faced with a serious battle and confusion in my heart because of the constant check I received from the HolySpirit . It was as if I was hiding the relationship from God and God was waiting for me to open up to him for help.

When I could not run again ,I opened up to God in tears to help me ,I told him everything ,I told him that I sincerely loved the brother and I desired to marry him but I wanted to know his will concerning the brother .

That same night I dreamt and I saw the brother coming to our house to visit me . I went to meet him on the way and started talking to him saying ..’ ,I would have married you ,but I love God and I want to serve him and I don’t want anyone to hinder me from serving Him .”. Immediately i said that ,I woke up and the holy spirit.began to tell me the meaning of the dream and its implication

He said to me that I can marry the brother if that is what I desire ( since he is a child of God as well. ) Then He said ,but what he wanted to do through me will be hindered.

I got the message,It means God was preparing for something I was not aware of .

Now I have a choice either to marry the brother and missed the plan of God for my life or wait for whoever God will bring latter . At this time ,I knew nothing about drama. ministry .I was in choir in my church ,but God knew what he wanted do with my life even when I have no idea .

After that prayer, God gave me strength to believe His word and to rest in him. My prayer life changed , I began to ask him to give me someone that love God and with whom I will serve. Him . I now understanding better what marriage means
I also received strength to wait and be patient before God until l. was fully convinced of the right person he would bring latter. Some came latter to proposed but I was strong in the spirit to know they are not God’s will for me
I was not in haste since I was sure he would alert me when the right person comes.

All this was possible because I involved God and I opened up to him for help and he did help me . Even though I loved the brother but we are not meant for each other . He is a pastor in a church now , but my calling is to the world. I did not know all this but he helped me in the place of prayer to wait and be patient till I was matured to know his plan for my life
When you are walking with God ,you must learn to trust him and be patient and you will not miss His plan for your life.

BE NOT ANXIOUS

4:6-7 KJVS[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. [7] And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

As a child of God ,you should not be afraid or anxious about who to marry because anxiety will make you miss the perfect will of God ,it will reduce your blessing and your manifestation.
God knows the right helper you need
.That is why you must be patient and wait on God in prayer to be sure of your marriage partner . The more you seek the face of God ,the more you know his will and plan for your life .

God did not ask you to look around for wife or husband. but to seek him and his kingdom . That is what God ask you to do ,that is what he told the singles brothers and sisters to do. To take care of God’s thing ( 1corinthians. 7:32 ). and in the process they will discover his purpose for their lives .

You are not to stay idle because there are gifts in you ,you can use to serve God. Be involved in God’s service and be useful and you will discover your purpose in the process. I was in the at times to clean the sanctuary and latter joined the drama just to serve God until I discovered that I have greater passion for drama.

You can’t be going around churches and fellowship and make impact . You must. Pray to know where God wants you to belong and stay there and serve faithfully . Some will leave where God has planted them because they feel no one is matured to marry them in such congregation ,You have forgotten that your father owns he world . And he can bring your husband or wife from anywhere as long as the person loves and know your God .

God has many sons and daughters and When your ways please him ,you will find the right person .

Discover your passion and your vision and go for it. Do not wait till you get somebody to marry before you start to be useful ,start now and be committed ,be focused and be fruitful and keep reminding God in your prayer to give you someone that will serve God with you, and the person will meet you there inside the wok . God will do the connection .

 

PART 8

PLACE OF FAITH
The first point to note when you are asking for the right partner in marriage is to determine to walk with God by faith because you want to enter into a covenant with God . when you enter into a marriage relationship without consulting God ,it means you are not ready to partner with God in the journey . These are the people who bring whoever they desire to God for him to bless Anyone who desire the will of God in marriage must be ready to walk by faith and when you are praying for the will of God ,you must believe and trust God . You must make up your mind to accept whoever the Lord will lead you to marry by Faith .

Faith has to do with TRUST. Absolute and total trust in God that he has the best for you That God has your interest at heart and that he knows the best helper for your life because his thought is good towards you Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

It does not mean the best will be perfect in nature or character ,you may notice some behavior or character in him or her that you may not like . But once it is the will of God ,you are to be his or her helper to complete whatever is lacking in the persons life as you receive him or her by faith despite the weakness .

God is a God of faith and without faith ,it is impossible to please Him. So many things will not move in your life if you don’t determine to walk with God by faith . Prayer is by faith ,because God will answer you according to your faith. Life itself is by faith because their are so many things we do unconsciously by faith .

MARRIAGE IS BY FAITH
Those who do not marry right also use faith because it takes faith to commit yourself to somebody you don’t know his or past and future . It is faith .

So if faith is that necessary ,it is better use profitably in God who knows your beginning and end and also knows whoever is right for you to marry .It takes faith to accept the will of God Luke 1:45 And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.

YOU GUARD YOUR CONVICTION BY FAITH

Your faith is very important because the enemy will fight your conviction about the person you believe is the will of God . This is because he hates you getting married to the will of God .He fears such couples because he knows the havoc they will do to his kingdom

That is the reason Satan always wait for every single brother and sister at the junction of marriage to confuse and deceive them to choose against the will of God so they can miss the helpers God has prepare for them in life. Many people passed through life without receiving their helpers of destiny and they end up struggling in life . God did not create you.to be alone ,he said to Adam in Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Adam has finished some of the major assignments giving to him at this time ,he has finished giving names to all the animals and he did not stop taking care of the garden . He was already busy and one would think a helper should have been provided for him at that time . But it was after he finished all,that God said it was not good for him to be alone and he provided a helper for him.

It means ,the helper is primarily for him. Someone he would love and cherish . someone that will relieve him of stress and share his burden , someone that will meet his emotional needs and make his life complete and the devil does not want that . He prefer you to marry someone that will add to your stress, that will make life difficult for you that will hinder you from fulfilling your dream or vision Satan does not want you to marry your God given wife or husband and so he struggle to hinder you from trusting God to receive from him .

But you must rise up in faith and insist to have the woman or man that God has prepared for you to marry .

After receiving the will of God you must determine to guard your faith and remain strong in your conviction about the will of God because satan will not step back because you have finally receive God’s will ,he will intensify his attacks to confuse you and to make you doubt what God is doing in your life

YOU NEED FAITH TO KEEP AND ACDEPT THE WILL OF GOD FOR YOUR LIFE .

So many things may come up to make you doubt what you believe God has given you. But you will overcome the lies of the devil by constantly reminding yourself of your initial conviction from God . Do not forget what God reveal to you and what he says to you . The word you receive from him must be your anchor against every attempt of the devil to confused you .

You need faith in your God and his word to silence the enemy and to move on to the next phase of your life . That you have the will of God as partner is not the end of it . You must fight to keep hearing what God said to you concerning your relationship.Psalm 62:11 KJVS[11] God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.
You must keep hearing God until you are fully strong in what God has said about his will for your life . You must not stop your prayers,study to know more from God so you can be very sure of the person.

It means your prayer must not stop until your home is
established .Isaiah 7:9 KJVS[9] And the head of Ephraim is Samaria, and the head of Samaria is Remaliah’s son. If ye will not believe, surely ye shall not be established.

There are so many things the Lord will show you and reveal to you about the person that will strengthen your faith when you are open to him And if the person is not the perfect will of God ,you will know in the process because it is possible to be wrongly attached ,and it is better to break with a person while you are still in courtship than in marriage .You will know more in the place of prayer as you open your heart and desire to God . He is willing to help you

My testimony

I faced serious battle when I eventually agreed and accepted to marry my husband . I was attacked with doubt and fear concerning the man . It was so terrible that I dreamt.and someone was warning me in my dream not to marry my husband . The devil questioned my conviction about the man ,If I was sure the man is worth following . Fear of the future ,fear of some lapses and mistakes he showed me in the life of the man especially whenever. I went to visit him .

I was overwhelmed with such thoughts . But I thank God for his presence as I always called on God for mercy and he would reminded me of his word. and my conviction

The man too always sense this reaction when ever i came to see him, he would jokingly asked me ,what the devil is telling me about him . And I would begin to tell him what the devil was saying ,that he was not the right man any sensible lady should agree to marry and so many horrible things . he would just smile and negate those words with the scripture and we would pray .

I grew to be more prayerful and to study the scripture at this time and I became strong to resists the devil and the spirit of fear and doubt. Gradually I became strong to become a great helper and to fully understand the vision . God also helped me seriously with so many revelations about the visions and the future of the ministry which I would also shared with him to assure him of my commitment to him . Many of what God revealed then is what we are witnessing today in our ministry .

God is a faihful God ,and he loves to help you when you are in any confusion if you humble your heart in his presence and you keep calling on him by faith to be fully sure of the person you think is the will of God for your life .

Do not hurry yourself to the altar if you are not yet fully sure or if you are not settle in your spirit . Isaiah 28:16 KJVS[16] Therefore thus saith the Lord God , Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone , a sure foundation: he that believeth shall not make haste.

When we were singles ,in the college fellowship ,a sister entered into error and she messed up her life and her future. because she did not wait to be sure of the will of. God for her life . A man of God proposed to marry the sister but every one in the fellowship was against the union Some were bold to approached her that the relationship was not the will of God . The man looked good and godly and he preached the word of God .

This sister was so sure and she refused to listen to anyone . She should have gone back to God and pray more because anything could have motivated her to accept the man’s proposal . May be because of the spirituality of the man of God because the man was naturally gifted in the things of God .

The man of God eventually rushed the sister to the altar without the consent of her parent. But the marriage was the beginning of a very painful journey for the sister because the man latter revealed his true color and he wrecked and destroyed the glory and the plan of God for the sister .it was a very painful situation for everyone most especially her parents .

But do you know the situation could have been averted if she had listened to what the brethren were saying and humbling went to God with all her heart to know more about the man . God is not a God of confusion ,he would have helped her to see clearly ,He can even reveal the secret of the man to her .

But she thought she has faith but it was foolishness.Psalm 37:4 KJVS[4] Delight thyself also in the Lord ; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Your faith must be in God and in his word,not in your head,or what you see or perceive is right .When you love God and you fear him,you will sit with him until you hear from him because you trust him. You will not be. deceived because you have a Father who knows all things .

He will not rebuke you for coming into his presence. In fact he encourage us to seek his face. Psalm 27:8 KJVS[8] When thou saidst , Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord , will I seek.

He reveal himself when you seek him with your hearts.and will lighten your darkness because you trust him with all your heart.

That is how to walk in faith and not in foolishness .

Don’t be in haste to go to the altar,but go in full assurance of God’s presence in your marriage .
Proverbs 3:5-6 KJVS[5] Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. [6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

LET US PRAY

OUR FATHER WE PRAY FOR ALL OUR SINGLE BROTHERS AND SISTERS THAT YOU WILL PLEASE TEACH THEM YOUR WAYS IN JESUS NAME

HELP THEM TO BE PATIENT IN YOUR PRESENCE AS THEY SEEK YOUR FACE CONCERNING THEIR MARRIAGE PARTNER IN JESUS NAME

STRENGTHEN THEIR FAITH AND HELP THEM TO TRUST YOU WITH ALL THEIR HEART.S IN JESUS NAME

FATHER PLEASE GUARD THEM AGAINST VISION KILLER AND DESTINY DESTROYER’S PARTNER IN JESUS NAME

PLEASE FATHER DON’T LEAVE THEM BUT DIRECT. AND GUIDE THEM FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL PLANS AND THEIR GLORIOUS FUTURE FOR THEIR LIVES

TO THE MARRIAGEABLE BROTHERS AND SISTERS ,RECEIVE YOUR PARTNERS. IN MARRIAGE NOW IN JESUS NAME .EVERY OBSTACLE AND DELAY IN YOUR WAYS ARE REMOVED BY FIRE IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS

THANK YOU FATHER BECAUSE YOU HAVE ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS IN JESUS NAME . AMEN .

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